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Four Things I Know About Jesus Christ

I don’t really know a lot about Jesus Christ in the scholarly term of “know.”  I don’t know much about the facts surrounding His ministry.  I don’t know what archivists and archaeologists have discovered about Him.  I don’t what He looked like or what He ate or how He dressed.  Most of what I know about Him comes from trying to read and to live what was taught in the four Gospels.  I have a deep sense of gratitude for His teachings, His example and His sacrifices for us.  

1. The teachings of Jesus Christ are His gift to help us to live happier lives.

Why did Jesus Christ spend so much time teaching people to love enemies, to forgive, to not judge and to not lust?  Was he orchestrating a series of tests so impossible that no man could pass them?  Was He sadistically trying to make us all into His robotic slaves and servants?  No, His unselfishly-given commandments are the greatest, and indeed the only true, self-help manual ever written.  His New Testament could be retitled “Simple But True Steps to a Happy Life.”

Love your neighbor (Luke 10:27)

Love your enemies (Luke 6:27)

Forgive and don’t judge (Luke 6:37)

Don’t lust (Matthew 5:28)

Don’t contend (Matthew 5: 22,25)

Don’t worry about the future, focus on the present (Matthew 6:34)

Pray (Matthew 6:9)

Don’t do good to get noticed (Matthew 6:1)

Don’t worry about having more “stuff,” worry more about things that will last even after death (Matthew 6:19)

As I try to live Jesus’ commandments I have been surprised by their ability to make me happy. He made no money from His teachings, He literally had everything to lose and nothing to gain from sharing His revolutionary ideas with us.  The longer I live, the more I realize that His teachings were the only way to make humankind truly happy.  They are the best relationship manual ever written.  

His teachings actually work.  “All I Really Need to Know I Learned in the New Testament.”  

2. Jesus Christ is no respecter of persons.

I am so grateful for the constant scriptural reassurance that Jesus Christ doesn’t care what we look like or how many talents we have.  He doesn’t care about the color of our skin or how tall or short we are.  He doesn’t care if we are cheerleaders or ballerinas or soccer stars.  He doesn’t care if we make the football team or not – although he empathizes with our devastation if we don’t.  He is “no respecter of persons” and He just loves.

Most of us walk into a room looking for the “statement people” to talk with.  That was not His way.  Jesus Christ looked for the people who needed His help.

I am so grateful that I had this testimony in elementary school and high school.  I was a pretty underaverage kid.  It was such a gift to me to know that Jesus Christ spent his life showing love to people who others would consider outcasts.  He loved underachievers and lepers and the mentally ill and sinners, He loved people who didn’t look right and didn’t talk right and didn’t act right.  He loved people who were on the fringes and on the margins.  He went to their houses, He ate with them.  He noticed them.  I felt deeply His care for me as an individual even, or especially, when I made embarrassing mistakes or when I was treated unkindly by others.  

3. Jesus Christ is the great Rescuer. 

Have you made some big mistakes?  Do you ever feel hopeless?  Do you ever feel that you have ruined things so badly that there is no way to ever overcome your mistakes?  And then you keep making more mistakes because you have already ruined everything?  Or perhaps you are a helpless victim of the unkindness and cruelty of others.  This is where Jesus Christ comes in.  I know that He suffered and died for our sins.  I have made quite a few mistakes.  And I have sinned against God, myself and others.  So have you.  And what do you do then?  

I have felt great joy as I have turned to Him who suffered for your sins and have petitioned to be made whole.   He cleaned up all of our messes in one overwhelming act of forgiveness that covers all of eternity.  That selfless act performed in the Garden of Gethsemane and on the cross of Calvary is the reason for my joy and the joy of all Christians.  It is one of the most joyful doctrines ever taught.  We can start over because of Jesus Christ.  As one wise woman once promised, “All that is wrong about life can be made right through the Atonement of Jesus Christ.”  I cling to that promise tenaciously when life is unfair, and I am wronged or when I do wrong that seems irreparable.  I have faith that someday the suffering of Jesus Christ will bear eternal fruit in the lives of each of us, blossoming into an eternity of joyful new beginnings and change brought about through the Atonement of Jesus Christ.

4. Because of Jesus Christ We Will Live Again After Death

The resurrection is a great fact attested to in the New Testament.  We know that Jesus rose from the dead and in so doing He opened the door for us to rise again.  A wise person once said “The only way to take the sorrow out of death is to take the joy out of living.”  I look at the resurrection as the great sorrow-eraser.  When we receive unwelcome or tragic news about a loved one or for ourselves it can tear our souls apart.  We may live in such fear of death that we cannot enjoy our lives.  Or we may choose to live for momentary pleasure because we doubt that life continues after death.  

I have never seen a resurrected person or our Resurrected Lord.  But I trust the clear testimony of so many in the New Testament who gave their lives to share with us the knowledge that Jesus Christ lives again and so can we.  I love the testimony of Job: “For I know that my redeemer liveth, and that he shall stand at the latter day upon the earth: And though after my skin worms destroy this body, yet in my flesh shall I see God” (Job 19:25-26).  I add my faith to Job’s, that death is not the end and that we and those we love will someday live again.

Jesus Christ is my greatest Joy.  I testify that He loves each of us dearly no matter who we are, that He can rescue us from sin and that because of Him, we will live again after death.  Thank you, to my dear friend Jesus!

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My dad standing outside Joseph Smith’s sacred grove in Palmyra, New York

The Easter of 2018 was different than any other.  It was a defining moment for me.  Not because of chocolate bunnies or tasty ham.  Something happened on that day that was remarkable.  It was an invitation given by President Russell M. Nelson in his first talk as president of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.   This is what He said:

“Find a quiet place where you can regularly go. Humble yourself before God. Pour out your heart to your Heavenly Father. Turn to Him for answers and for comfort.

Pray in the name of Jesus Christ about your concerns, your fears, your weaknesses—yes, the very longings of your heart. And then listen! Write the thoughts that come to your mind. Record your feelings and follow through with actions that you are prompted to take. As you repeat this process day after day, month after month, year after year, you will “grow into the principle of revelation.”

Prayer had not been a big deal to me before that.  I said my prayers. Hopped into bed.  Done. Check.  But this talk was transformational because it changed my prayers from being transactional to being relational.

I picked my sewing room as my go-to place – sometimes it doesn’t work if this room gets too messy.  I go there and I just pray.  I talk to God.  Instead of praying like I am ordering groceries I pray like I am talking to my Dad.  My Dad is a storehouse of wisdom.  He has so much good advice because he has experienced so much.

But if my Dad knows a lot, think about how much God knows!  If my Dad loves me, think how much more God loves me!  If my Dad gives good advice, think how much better it is to get God’s advice!

I love this scripture:  

“Believe in God⁠; believe that he is, and that he created all things, both in heaven and in earth; believe that he has all wisdom⁠, and all power, both in heaven and in earth; believe that man doth not comprehend all the things which the Lord can comprehend.” (Mosiah 4:9)

So I started asking God all kinds of questions.  And as I listened I got answers!  It is miraculous!  God has time for me!  And He wants to help me!

Now often when I leave my sacred space I have a list of items to do for the day.  This list is God’s list.  To help me have a better day.  To give me direction on my problems.  To help His other children.

I don’t look at God any more as unreachable.  As too far to care.  God is my Father.  And I love to spend time with Him.  Enough said.

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25 Things I Have Learned After Almost 25 years of Motherhood

2025

2018

For many years my husband has a tradition that is so endearing.  On the first day of school or thereabouts he gathers all the children to the front porch and amid groans and sighs he manages to extract from them a few precious smiles (or grimaces) for a picture.

These pictures over the past fifteen or so years track the almost imperceptible growth that has taken place in our family.  They are reminder of the march of time that carries us along in its merciless wake.

This year there were only three children left in the picture.  We sent it out to our expanding family group chat.  And one of my sons commented – “That’s sad.  Nobody left.”  It is sad but I am so grateful for the years and the good memories that we have made.  And I have some regrets too.

What have I learned after almost twenty-five years as a mother? 

Play by God’s rules.  They are the secret to a happy life.

Time is precious.  Spend it with your kids.

Don’t get in the anger habit.  Don’t criticize.  Let your kids grow at their own pace.   

Pick your battles (we fought too many battles that weren’t worth the fight)

Be nice to your spouse.  Keep your love alive. Nothing destroys a family faster than divorce.

Nature heals.  Camp. Ski. Hike.  And do it often.

Fancy clothes and homes are highly overrated. 

Limit tv and video games. Good books, thinking toys, clean movies and healthy food are worth the investment.

Be home when they are coming and going.

Take time to talk one on one with your kids.

Teach your kids to serve others and serve with them.

Teach your kids to be nice even to people who are mean.

Don’t pick favorites.  Every child is precious.

Give your kids chores.  Get them jobs.  Teach them the value of money.

Make your home a welcome place for their friends (I wasn’t too good at this)

Be warm and loving.  When they come home treat them like rockstars. 

Take a family vacation every year. 

Don’t overreact to their pain and mistakes.  Let them change and grow.  

Don’t expect other people to train your children.

Teach them about their roots.

Go to church.  Go to church activities.  Be fully invested in your faith.

Sports are good but don’t get obsessed with them.  

Pray for your spouse and children by name.  Listen to what God tells you.

Pray together as a family.

Give the raising of your kids everything you’ve got.  They grow up way too fast.

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Spice Up Your Summertime with a Family History Vacation

Do you want to spice up your summertime?  Try something different this year.  Some of our favorite family vacations have been “family history vacations.”  These are places in our family history that tell a unique story or evoke special memories.  Family vacations and outings can be made memorable learning experiences when we involve family history experiences as part of the vacation.

These kind of vacations have some unique benefits.  Not only are you building long-lasting relationships with your current family – but you are tying this family to something bigger, to generations before and after you.  And studies have shown that this sense of history can have a powerful impact on your children.

 Plan a vacation and include some family history in it.  Many of us travel to places with special family ties.  Perhaps it is our hometown or a spot we liked to vacation growing up.  Make this a family trip by adding a visit to your childhood home or the home of a relative.  Visit special sites and tell special stories.  You could even be prepared with a little pedigree chart or some photos to show children exactly how they are connected to these places.

When we lived in Arizona we took a fun trip to the White Mountains.  Our purpose was to enjoy the peaceful, cool of the out of doors.  However, my husband had some family who lived in this area, so we decided while we were there to make a search for the grave of his ancestor, Edmund Ellsworth, who had been one of the early settlers of the area.  Finding the grave was not easy and was actually located on someone’s personal property.  However, our children learned about themselves and their clan as we shared stories of Edmund Ellsworth, a pioneer who crossed the plains in a covered wagon and finally settled in Show Low Arizona.

A few summers ago we visited Washington State.  Our destination was the San Juan islands.  But my husband had lived in Washington for a while as a missionary for our church.  So, we decided to add a few stops to see places he lived and loved as a missionary.  We ended up in a spectacular spot on the Sound watching Fourth of July fireworks on a beautiful beach across from downtown Seattle.

Perhaps even more memorable are trips that we have planned around family history.  A number of years ago we decided as a family to visit Switzerland and Germany, the land of ancestors from my husband’s and my family.  We spent weeks and months carefully researching plane prices, car rentals and things-to-do.  We decided to make our base camp an airbnb in my family’s hometown of beautiful Engelberg, Switzerland .  From Engelberg we would travel to Germany to visit my husband’s ancestral homeland and some friends in Germany.  The kids were fully involved in the planning and we had some amazing adventures at sites they chose including the Pilatus ropes course and the Porsche museum in Stuttgart.  We stayed in a hotel with a name from our family tree in Leidringen, Germany.  We spent one unforgettable day finding amazing amounts of family history in Engelberg.  At times it was a bit overwhelming for our kids but we all came away from this experience with a new appreciation for who we were.

If you want to create some unforgettable memories for your children this summer, plan a family history vacation.  Strengthening your children through family time together and learning about your roots will make for some unforgettable and life-changing family experiences.

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Slow Down. Take a Break.

Sometimes you just can’t go any more.  I hit that point a few weeks ago.  After four family birthdays, a busy season of sports and music lessons and very tight finances I wasn’t sleeping well any more.  My little body felt weighed down and discouraged.

We didn’t have much money left and it was spring break.  So we decided to go backpacking into a beautiful spot in our home state of Utah.  It was hard work getting ready for the trip.  But the first night of sleep was blissful.  There were no schedules, no deadlines, no house to clean, no kids to pick up, no carpool.  I slept and slept knowing that there was nowhere I needed to be.  The next night was the same.  I went to bed with the sun and woke up much later than normal.  My body needed that rest.

I came back from that two day trip ready to face the world again.  I was sleeping.  I was not grumpy.  The world looked all around rosier although my problems were exactly the same.

Are you tired?  Go to bed early.  Take a nap.  

Are you grumpy and irritable?  Go for a walk.  Take an evening away.

Do you feel discouraged and unable to cope anymore?  Slow down.  Take a day off.  Ask for help from a spouse or a friend. Do something slow and quiet.

While it may seem counterintuitive, taking regular breaks can actually help you be more productive than working without stopping.  Effective breaks can help to reset your perspective so that you’re ready to re-focus when you return to your work.  Taking breaks while studying can even improve recall! If you find yourself growing increasingly frustrated, tired or grumpy – listen to your body!  Take a break and you will come back refreshed, renewed, and ready to face the challenges of life.

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How We’ve Helped Our Kids Deal With Bullying (Pat’s fix)

A spoiler alert: I don’t have perfect kids. In addition to raising kids who have been bullied I have also raised some bullies. More on that in part 2. I’m also not a child psychologist. This might not work for everyone.

My son came home from church crying. Church of all places. This was supposed to be his happy place where he had lots of friends and everyone behaved like Jesus. Well, not today. Today some kids were behaving in a very unchristian manner which included unkind words and some very cruel and crude actions. The last thing I wanted for him was to give up on a good thing because of a few immature kids.

And now he lay on his bed sobbing. My mother’s heart hurt as I racked my brain for how to help.

I’m not sure why but into my mind popped an image of a lady in my church group in Oregon when I was growing up. She was a little round lady who loved to sew. Her name was Pat. My town was pretty wealthy. But Pat wasn’t. She had a bunch of kids and an off balance house that had been added onto in bits and pieces. Pat wasn’t best friends with all the popular ladies in the ward. But she was well-liked. Why? Pat’s secret was service.

Pat was famous for her chocolate chip cookies. And her snickerdoodles. I think they were the most delicious cookies I had ever tasted. Maybe they weren’t actually the most amazing but she just poured so much love into them that receiving a plate was cause for a party. And Pat sewed a lot. Lucky brides received her bright, colorful aprons as wedding presents and babies received her warm, fuzzy flannel blankets. She did hair for her elderly neighbor. I guess that Pat had just discovered that the secret to life’s happiness was giving love.

So, I told my son about Pat. And that like us, she was a poor lady in a rich area. She wasn’t gorgeous or witty or talented or anything like that. She just loved. And she was happy.

And I brought out her chocolate chip cookie recipe. And we went down and made it. They actually didn’t turn out so great if I remember correctly. We live at high altitude so we had to adjust to a different recipe. But it wasn’t the cookie recipe. It was the fact that my son had learned he was not the victim. There were people who needed him. He could make others’ lives brighter. He was in control.

As I have detailed before, service can help struggling adolescents find a sense of purpose and reduces feelings of anxiety and depression. Here is another great article with research from Brigham Young University that backs this up.

I’ve been bullied. I’ve been a victim. So have you. But we don’t have to let it get to us if we learn to love.

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God Isn’t Finished With Him Yet

Don’t give up on me!

When my husband was in graduate school we attended a meeting where a distinguished man spoke. He had been successful professionally, was happily married to a lovely woman, and was the father of a very large family. He spoke eloquently of his life and at one point, he posted a picture of himself as a teenager in his presentation. A wild-looking young man with a punk rocker haircut flashed on the screen. This picture looked nothing like the clean-cut, well-dressed man before us. The man related that in high school he had gone through a rebellious phase and this haircut reflected that time and attitude. Once, a woman had made a comment to his mother about her son’s outlandish haircut and ways. His mother, irked by the comment, retorted “Maybe, God isn’t finished with him yet!”

I loved that phrase. This mother saw potential in her son and had hope for his future. She knew that with God, change is always possible. Another mother who I love is St. Augustine’s mother, Monica, who waited patiently for the conversion of her son to God. This “son of her many tears” became a mighty warrior for Christ and said of his mother that she “brought me to birth, both in her flesh, so that I was born into this temporal light, and in her heart, that I might be born into eternal light” (Conf. 8, 17). Because of Christ, we need never give up on ourselves or our children. God isn’t finished with any of us yet. He is our loving father and His work with us is infinite and eternal. “Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.” (2 Cor 5:17)

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Becoming “Minnesota Tough” and Other Things I Have Learned From Researching My Roots

A photo of the Anton Anderson Family After Maren’s Death

I was out running in the snow last winter.  As I was running an elderly gentleman in a truck rolled down his window and said something like, “Are you from Alaska?”  I kind of laughed, thrown off by what he meant.  Then I looked around and realized that there was some snow on the ground and my hands were a bit numb.  Immediately I felt rather proud – I was becoming “Minnesota Tough.”

I first heard this term on a trip to Minnesota a few years ago.  There I learned about my ancestors from Minnesota – Anton Anderson and Maren Lund.  I learned that they came from Norway in the 1800s and settled in Western Minnesota.  They started out in Minnesota in a little dugout.  They endured blizzards, grasshoppers and an extremely inhospitable climate.  The family eventually grew to eight children.  They built a lovely frame home and then Maren died.  Anton shouldered the task of raising these children alone. Their descendants continued the legacy of farming and cultivating the harsh landscape.  As I was visiting their town in Minnesota there were two sweet little grandmothers who told me that there was a phrase for these types of people – they were “Minnesota tough.”

I have always considered myself kind of a wimp who liked warm bathrobes and fires and reading books.  “Wow! I thought.  I am related to these people?”  I took this term back home and “Minnesota Tough” has become kind of an obsession with my family.  My son tells me I shouldn’t wear gloves or a jacket running – I need to be “Minnesota Tough.”  My daughter doesn’t want to do a work project.  She can be “Minnesota Tough.”  All of us at home are trying to be more “Minnesota Tough.”

I don’t think this is so much a story about me as it is an evidence of the power of family stories in our lives.  Each of us can learn about our capabilities from stories in our past.  We can draw deeply from the waters of yesterday to make our todays more interesting and more beautiful.

I have heard many ancestor stories over the years.  Each story contains a multitude of messages.  My grandfather left my grandmother for another woman.  She never spoke ill of him in all the years that I knew her.  (Be Faithful, Forgive).  The adventurous relatives I visited in Switzerland who told me that “flat is boring.” (Learn to like mountains) My great-grandmother who enjoyed life to the fullest and despite many setbacks and disappointments was still dancing in her 90s (“You gotta make your own happiness”).  My great-grandmother from Czechoslovakia who opened a bakery later in life and created delicious food and beautiful handmade gifts. (“Your last years can be your best years,” “Create”).  

One of the richest legacies that we can find and share with our children are the stories of our ancestors.  What have you learned from your ancestors?

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Suffering from Too Much of a Good Thing?

Whoever said that “too much of a good thing is wonderful” was wrong.  Our family, and me in particular, have been suffering from too much of a good thing. Tennis, swimming, soccer, vacations, church volunteer work, ministering, piano, cello, education, cross country, choir, orchestra – none of them are bad things, right?  So, why not do them all?

After a mom mini-breakdown, some counseling with my husband and some wise advice from my bishop I realized that we needed to scale back.  Although I tried so hard not to do it, I was caught on the Patti Perfect treadmill somehow believing that if I did not develop every one of my children’s talents, bake perfect meals, keep my house perfectly clean and serve every single person in the neighborhood, there was something wrong with me.  

My husband and I sat down and listed all of our activities.  We put pluses by the important ones, and 0’s by the ones that required a lot of output but we weren’t getting a lot of return from.  Not surprisingly, the list toppers included fun times together as a family, simple meals together and family gospel study.  Least important – sports.  Then we sat down and had a two hour very painful family council.  The result – move family home evening to a different night and each kid got one talent-related activity – period.

Painful?  Yes.  But the longer we raise children the more we realize that family time together is precious.  And that some things we stressed out about so much with our older kids don’t matter as much as they thought we did.

Dallin H. Oaks said: “We have to forego some good things in order to choose others that are better or best because they develop faith in the Lord Jesus Christ and strengthen our families.”  If you or your family is struggling with this his talk “Good, Better, Best” is worth a read.

I thinned my sunflowers today.  It was hard, hot and tedious but when I was finished, my garden looked a whole lot better.  Sometimes, we need to plant and sometimes we need to prune.  It was pruning time at our house this week.

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Lonely, Anxious Teen? Try Service

I was not your typical teenager and I was not popular.  I watched through the window when my neighbors went to prom.  I tried out for the dance team three times and never made it.  My friends got asked to parties and I went to church activities (which I think were even funner).  I enjoyed studying.  But a people person I was not.  I had grown up with thick glasses and few friends.  I spent a lot of my childhood reading books in a corner.  This did not help my social skills.  I often wonder if today they would have labeled me as having some type of anxiety.  And maybe I did.  I was scared to death of speaking to others and often felt awkward and out of sorts in social situations.  How did I make it through my teenage years without feeling unhappy and angry at life?

I had wonderful parents.  Somewhere along the line my mom, who had worked at a social service agency before being a stay-at-home mother, decided to get me involved in a Big Brother-Big Sister program in Oregon.  I was given the opportunity to be the “big sister” to a sweet little foster girl who needed someone special in her life.  I did too.  I picked her up and took her to ice cream or jumped with her on my family’s trampoline.  I did this throughout high school.  She was the flower girl at my wedding.  She visited me at college.  Doing this program and many other volunteer projects at church and in my community including volunteering at the local hospital and serving people at the homeless shelter gave meaning to my life and helped me overcome some of my natural fear of people.  I am grateful for a mother who taught me to look outside myself.

The Greater Good Science Center out of Berkeley recently published an article showing many of the science-based benefits of volunteer work.  Volunteers had better mental health and were more likely to rate their lives as being satisfactory.  Furthermore, unhappy people who started volunteering experienced more happiness and well-being as they engaged in volunteer service.

Parents these days are continually pushing their children to succeed in sports, to be better looking, and to get better grades.  But perhaps their children would benefit more emotionally and socially from service.  A friend I admire once said that the most important trait we should be working to develop in our children is kindness.  Why are we often more excited about our children being the most popular or the best soccer player than about them caring for others?  If we truly want our children to be happy and if we truly want society to be a more caring, kinder space maybe we should try service instead.